Need a new home for your website?

Sick of paying big bucks for decent web hosting?

Tighter than a mouse's fanny?

DownTime Web Hosting has what you need! Piss poor hosting at a price that's right!

You see, here at DownTime Hosting, we don't give a stuff about you or your site. All we care about is your money. The moment you become slightly annoying to us, like the moment you realise our service is crap, we will cut your off with not so much as a second thought or simple reply. That's our promise to you! Just give us your money, wave goodbye to your data, and we'll be as happy as a cat with a strawberry flavoured arsehole!


We can offer…

99% downtime guaranteed!
The slowest servers on the web!
Extra charges each time you pick your nose!
Unlimited domains!*

* Note: We do not support domains at this time.



"Oh, God. All my data… gone." - Dave from Hastings

Our servers are...

Top of the range… from 1989!
Made by Wallmart!
Struggling to run Windows 3.1!
Located in our state of the art data centre!
Which is in our friend Dave's bedroom!


"I thought they were kidding! I want to die!" - Wendy from Manchester




Site Hosted by Wasted Network and their patented spoofing machine! (Well, it wouldn't be up if we hosted it!)
Spoof based on an original idea from Instigator in the Wasted Network forums.